Two year olds are just learning the art of negotiation, they just don’t quite get it. Three year olds have mastered it, they have it down pat- unless of course they are tired or hungry- then they resort to their previous two year old mindset of negotiation. This is why you’re supposed to space your children so that you only have either one two year old or one three year old- not one of each. We’re learning this the hard way. Lucky us we’ve got another one right behind them so that pretty soon we’ll have a two year old, three year old and four year old- ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I’ve decided I’m going to run away and be a hostage negotiator for my local police department. I’ve got skills.
A morningast week for example:
Scene: 7am Mom in bed feeding baby, Dad in bed incapacitated because of being beaten by the dr. to break up kidney stones, two year old and three year old beating each other mercilessly
Mom: we don’t hit, even if she hits you first
2 year old: screaming
3 year old: annika did it!
mom: I saw that, I also saw you hit her back five times more then she hit you
2 year old: still screaming and winding up to hit her sister back
3 year old: she hurt me!
mom (desperately looking for a one boob distraction): who wants breakfast?
both kids: I do, I do
mom: go ask Ashley (6 year old- 6 years old is good for lots of stuff I tell ya) to pour you some cereal
kids run away, blissful silence for 3 minutes, screaming starts downstairs
mom to dad: I forgot, we’re out of milk
Dad: great (roll over and try to sleep some more)
3 year old: Moooommmmmmyyyy!! (incoherent crying at a pitch that only dogs can hear)
(Dogs next door start howling)
mom (heading downstairs): who wants pancakes!? (crisis averted)

All day long people- all day long